BMW is deemed the latest problem to hit British workplaces – not as in the car, but as in Bitching, Moaning and Whining. The problem is that continual venting – complaining, nit-picking and whingeing – is bad news for everyone.
‘Be warned, the negative energy is highly contagious and can have a “pull-you-down” effect on the whole team,’ explains Sharon Eden, author of Whack Around the Head: Purpose, Passion, Power at Work Right Now! (£12.99, Ecademy Press).
Often disguised as harmless office gossip or a reasonable rant, such diatribes typically reveal something far more sinister and entrenched, according to Eden. Quite often, what you find is an ‘Eyeore’ character in the department, who just can’t help raining on other people’s parades, causing friction in office relationships and harmony, she says.
Eden believes that BMW is a largely British phenomenon. ‘It’s typical in Britain to keep a stiff upper lip instead of speaking out. Net result? An ulcer and/or substantial venting to all our colleagues, family and friends, which just prolongs the agony and gets us absolutely nowhere.’
Venting has been found to be highly divisive, disempowering and demotivating for all concerned. It can also make us highly unproductive – destroying any possibility of the team being an effective and influential force in the organisation. It can make you miss deadlines, mess up your assignments and, over time, begin to experience fogginess, confusion, upset, resentment and exhaustion.
Stephen Archer, business analyst and director of Spring Partnerships, believes that in terms of repercussions, it doesn’t make much difference whether you are the ‘venter’ or ‘ventee’. ‘To tolerate is to advocate,’ he says. ‘It’s natural for people to want to mirror others and agree, and moaning is no exception.’ And Archer shares the view that it’s a particularly British trait. ‘When I go to US companies, there is rarely any BMW,’ he says. They are positive and optimistic, he says, because leaders and managers nip problem behaviour in the bud.
However, Cary Cooper, professor of organisational psychology and health at Lancaster University Management School, and an American himself, disagrees. ‘US working culture can be brutal – there’s no protection in jobs. So when people feel badly treated, they just leave. So it’s not that BMW doesn’t exist or that managers deal with it swiftly. There's just more job mobility.'
However, Cooper claims BMW is more prevalent in large organisations. ‘The bigger the organisation, the more you get it. In our Quality of Working Life survey, we found SMEs are so much better in this regard.
'Rather than people complaining, they’re much more likely just to get on with it. It’s probably because colleagues know each other well and tend to be managed more flexibly. In big companies, there’s often this feeling that you have very little control and autonomy. You make a mistake and someone dumps on you, and even if you don’t make a mistake, you may feel remote and unengaged. There’s a huge problem of managing by negative feedback and fault-finding in some such organisations too.'
The recession is only making things worse, he says. ‘Senior management often don’t communicate cut-backs during a recession and that lack of communication fuels BMW. We’ve found that, conversely, organisations that communicate well, even with bad news, experience far less venting. Quite the opposite in fact – staff work really hard to be more productive because they feel, “Hey, I’ve got to do something to make this company work. It’s in my own interests”.’
Others believe venting is an addiction – that it is their drug of choice and, like most addicts, they lack self-responsibility. BMW-ing, goes the theory, is the venter’s way of avoiding taking responsibility for their life and their feelings – and that’s probably the case in their home life too.
Karen Chapman, operations manager for recruitment agency Office Angels, agrees BMW has an element of denial associated with it. ‘In my experience, there are several reasons why people moan, but it’s usually because they’re trying to hide something like their inability to do the job, they’ve lost interest in the task at hand or the job itself.
‘When you have two people working in competition, it’s often the case that one is lazier and more negative, or simply underperforms against the other. Rather than come up with reasons as to why, they make excuses. They blame someone else and rarely look at themselves. These repeat offenders are often negative people who find it difficult to see positives easily or don’t see change as being good and full of opportunities.’
Unlike Cooper, Chapman believes BMW is as common in small companies. It’s less about the size of the company than whether it has a structured hierarchy or big egos – both of which are breeding grounds for BMW, claims Chapman.
It’s important to remember that the management of an organisation holds some responsibility: ‘We know of one department where one person is very low and possibly depressed,’ says Chapman. ‘The person has a negative and unco-operative manner and, as a result, the department is now underperforming and the team are constantly nit-picking and moaning among themselves. If not addressed quickly, it will spiral out of control and bringing it back to a happy equilibrium will be very difficult.’
Office Angels advice, in the first instance, is to listen to venting and let the person have their say. ‘But if it continues or has a negative effect on you, say that you do sympathise but that you can’t solve their problem and suggest they talk to their manager,’ says Chapman.
If you don’t feel able to approach them directly, let your manager know how their behaviour distresses you and ask him or her to resolve the situation, advises Eden. ‘If other colleagues feel the same, make a collective approach to emphasise the need for his or her action.’
If you’re the culprit, give yourself a metaphorical whack around the head to get real every time you catch yourself, she says. ‘Moaning, griping and playing the victim puts people off and gets you nowhere. Be powerful by getting clear about your problem, any resources you need and who you need to enlist to help you resolve it. Then, take appropriate action.’
If it’s your boss who’s the perpetrator, things are obviously a bit more complicated. Eden suggests giving gentle feedback on their behaviour and asking how you might resolve it. ‘If your boss isn’t approachable, speak in the same vein to whoever has influence with them.’ Meanwhile, if you’re the manager, use the ‘S’ formula, she says. ‘Support the person by appreciating their take on things, even if you don’t agree with them. Suggest a way forward with their grievance and their venting behaviour which they can buy into.’
Chapman does believe there's a place for venting though. ‘There’s no doubt short outbursts are good for stress and also a very good way of letting people know how you feel. But continued venting, especially about the same thing, is when it turns negative. That’s when you need to take action.’
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